As featured in the Counselling Australia Journal, Vol 23 No 2 Winter 2022.

In this feature, we interview a counsellor and ACA member about their profession, their journey and what they’ve learned along the way.

Words Nicole Baxter, Photos Corrina Ridgway

When Dee McCulloch’s three boys were diagnosed with autism, she was determined to give them the best start in life. Back in 2001, there was no National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS), and support services for autistic children and their parents were thin on the ground.

To learn all she could about autism, Dee amassed an extensive library on the subject that she says was Australia’s most comprehensive at that time. Her boys’ toy collection was also extensive, so while she was a chief executive officer with a degree in commercial law and experience as a stockbroker, real estate agent and vocational trainer, she also opened a toy and reference library.

This later became a full early intervention centre for children aged zero to seven years. Dee estimates she raised about A$10 million to run the charity Friends of Autism to support the centre from 2005 to 2014.

 

Turning point

It was no easy task. Accordingly, as a mum trying to homeschool her three boys and run the charity, as well as two other family businesses in real estate and training, Dee reached out to psychologists and counsellors for support.

“The divorce rate among couples with one autistic child is 87 per cent,” she says. “As I’m a mum with special needs children, psychologists and counsellors would tell me to take some time for me, have a massage and meditate, and I thought, ‘seriously, is that all you have?’” she says.

It was not great advice for a single mum but it prompted her to secure counselling qualifications. Dee completed a diploma in professional counselling through the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. Since 2007, as part of the charity she set up, she has offered individual, group and marital counselling for parents of children with autism, which, over the years, won several awards for service excellence.

Not long after Dee’s boys were diagnosed with autism, her ex-husband was also diagnosed with autism.

Work rewards

Dee says the biggest reward of her work as a professional counsellor is connecting with people and making a difference in their lives where they feel understood.

A big part of her work involves group therapy where others feel supported, and the language around what a lousy day means is appreciated. For example, the worst day where everything goes wrong was coined a ‘Dee’ day. “A parent of a child with special needs generally tries to overcompensate, which puts the parent under more pressure,” she says.

“You are trying to achieve acceptance for your child and yourself – in a school setting, for example. “Many parents put on a front to show they are coping, but the effort it takes to engage other mums and children so they don’t judge you or your child can be exhausting.

“When you’re in a group therapy session with other parents who understand, there is instant relief when you can say ‘this is hard’, and there is peer support so you no longer feel alone.”

Work challenges

When it comes to the biggest challenges in her work as a counsellor, Dee says she struggles with clients who refuse to drop their victim armour and let people see the real them and be vulnerable to start the work.

“There are ways to move forward if people are willing to give them a go,” she says. “But it’s also the most rewarding part of the job when people decide they can have a happy life despite their challenges.”

Dee joined the Australian Counselling Association (ACA) in 2018 as a Level 2 member. She is also a member of the College of Supervisors.

She loves the credibility ACA membership offers and that members are held accountable. “It is disappointing when anybody can call themselves a counsellor in Australia without having the methodology and training to go with the title,” she says. “The NDIS recommends 20 hours minimum a year of professional development and supervision.”

Every week, Dee spends about 25 hours counselling clients and supervisees, plus running her training courses. She also does about 20 hours of pro-bono work. Her training courses to hone the knowledge and skills needed to provide services to clients through the NDIS are accessible through ACA.

Conflict resolution

Also offered through her business are mediation and dispute resolution services for high-conflict divorce cases. Most of these cases involve a child or partner who has issues with mental health or special needs.

She and two of her sons have a rare genetic disease, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), which means battling chronic pain. She reminds herself daily with zebras (the symbol of EDS) placed around her home that everything will be okay.

Dee’s three boys live at home, where she juggles her work with structuring their days. Her sons are doing well. Andrew, 21, has a significant intellectual disability and lives a life he enjoys. Jordon, 19, studies criminology and justice. Her youngest Lachlan, 17, also has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and significant learning disabilities. He is homeschooled. Dee designs a program to suit his needs and interests in pet studies and marine biology.

Lessons learned

To those starting in counselling, Dee encourages humility. “You can learn as much from your clients as they can from you,” she says. “You shouldn’t be directing anybody’s life, but just helping them on their journey at their pace.” She encourages her peers to remain open to learning and to never judge.

As a champion for the NDIS, Dee says her work involves a lot of research.

“People who do my courses think they’re in for an easy ride,” she says. “I usually hear deathly silence once I explain how it is and what they should be doing.”

Nonetheless, she says her students are thankful after completing her NDIS courses by truly understanding the system and obtaining outcomes. In the future, Dee is keen to expand her clinical supervision, live webinars and self-paced learning modules.

“All I can do is make a difference one life at a time,” she says.